My Bologna
"Hi! I'm Alec and today we will be sampling Tofu Bologna!"
"Well, here goes. The first bite in..."
"I don't know... it's awfully slimey... sort of like snot..."
"Wait a minute! I'm a toddler! I LOVE SNOT!! This is the greatest!!!"
"Now kids... go out and bug your parents for this stuff. It's a booger-eating good time!"